OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER
Notice of Satirical Publication
For The Avoidance Of Doubt:
This Is A Satirical Publication.
§ I — No Real Agency
CertifiedScumbag.com is not a government registry, regulatory body, or official record-keeper of any kind. The "Bureau of Certified Scumbaggery" is a fictional construct deployed for satirical purposes. No certifications issued by this site carry any legal weight, regulatory standing, or factual authority.
References to forms, OMB numbers, registry codes, and bylaws are part of the editorial conceit. They do not correspond to any real governmental scheme.
§ II — Editorial Entries
Editorial entries describe public figures whose conduct is documented in the historical and journalistic record. Every editorial entry cites real, independently verifiable sources. The Bureau's tone is satirical; the underlying facts are not.
Where we have made a factual error in describing the public record, we want to know. Email bureau@certifiedscumbag.com and we will correct or retract any entry that misrepresents the documented record.
§ III — Self-Submitted Entries
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Subscribers may withdraw their certification and remove their listing at any time via the dashboard or by emailing the Bureau.
§ IV — No Warranty
Participation in CertifiedScumbag.com is voluntary and at the subscriber's own risk. The Bureau accepts no responsibility for any real-world consequences — social, professional, or otherwise — that arise from the public display of a certification. Subscribers should consider, before applying, whether the joke is for them.