FREQUENTLY ASKED
Answers to Recurring Subscriber Inquiries
§ I — Inquiries on File
Inquiry 01
Is this a real government registry?
No. CertifiedScumbag.com is a satirical publication. The Bureau of Certified Scumbaggery is fictional. Every form number, OMB code, and registry bylaw is part of the joke.
Inquiry 02
Then what's the point?
The bureaucratic framing exists to apply official-sounding tone to public figures whose conduct is documented in the historical record. Editorial entries cite real, independently verifiable sources.
Inquiry 03
How do I get certified?
Pay $1.00 per month, complete the application at /apply, and a Bureau reviewer will respond within fourteen days. Approved applicants receive a verifiable certificate, an embeddable badge, and their place on the leaderboard.
Inquiry 04
Will my certification appear in Google?
Self-submitted profiles default to
noindex. Editorial entries are publicly indexed. Subscribers can opt in to indexing of their personal profile from the dashboard if they wish.Inquiry 05
Can I withdraw my certification?
Yes. Cancel from the dashboard or email bureau@certifiedscumbag.com. The certificate is revoked, the listing is removed, and the verification page returns a tombstone.
Inquiry 06
What does my $1/month actually pay for?
Hosting, certificate generation, fulfillment of the printed certificate card on request, and the cost of running a satirical publication that takes its formatting seriously.
Inquiry 07
Can I appear in someone else's editorial entry?
Editorial entries are research-led; they describe publicly documented conduct of public figures. Tip lines for new editorial entries open in a future release.
Inquiry 08
I think you have a fact wrong.
Email bureau@certifiedscumbag.com with the entry slug, the disputed line, and a citation. We will correct or retract anything that misrepresents the documented record.